Based somewhat on a true story. One of my mates was topping the timesheets in a public server we were in - and was asked for his setup despite him having made no changes to the default settings. That's about the only grain of truth to this rap; all the rest is exaggerated fiction, and yet, I think you'd agree that something like this could still plausibly happen.
lyrics
Public servers, yes, I am that bored
The sim racing equivalent of falling on a sword
But I feel like a little bit of harmless fun
First turn taken out, then on to the next one
But I’m still a bit rusty
Might as well practice and get a bit comfy
Jump on a server, default settings
No reason for a setup with the places I’m getting
So I up the steering lock, adjust my driving socks
Exit the pits and go set some laps
And after some testing on multiple tracks
Yeah the default setup is fine, perhaps
A guy jumps in, drives very slowly
Four seconds off, probably learning, fine by me
But then I find the delightful chap
Has seen my fastest lap
Because as I look in the mirrors to check where I’ve been
I look down at the chat at the bottom left of the screen
From the guy so slow he’s parked:
“[My Name],” followed by “Setup [question mark]?”
Damn, I think to myself,
I gotta break it to him, my setup’s off the shelf
So I pull off, brake and come to a halt
Press T and write “Sorry, I’m running default”
“LOL, BS” is what I get back
“There’s no way you’re that quick without a setup hack
I know you’re exploiting a physics glitch
And I’ve got the itch, so give me your setup bitch”
Wow, such verbal acid
No need to be that savage
And at best my pace ain’t rapid
It’s in that no man’s land between kinda quick and average
And I don’t have a setup, I’m driving for the fun of it
I tell him as much, but he’s having none of it
He says “My alarm bells are ringing
You can’t drive that fast without spinning”
Oh, for fuck’s sake
I’ve seen some idiots mate, but you take the cake
If anything, I’m flattered that you think I’m fast
But I guess I am, compared to you, who’d be dead last
You’re four seconds slower
A setup alone won’t make the deficit lower
And I’m not saying a good setup never works
But you gotta be a semi-decent driver first
At least that’s what I would have said
Having thought about it in the shower later, but instead
I said “Dude, I don’t have proof
But you gotta trust me, I’m telling you the truth”
“Well fuck you, then,” he typed bitterly
Unaware of the absurdity of the shit he just said to me
While we were bickering another guy entered
And then upon him my attention was centred
As he ran a time nine tenths faster than me
“Ha,” I typed into the chat box, “now you see?”
And pretty soon my aggressor’s name
Was accompanied by three words: “left the game.”
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