We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.
/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.
    Purchasable with gift card

      name your price

     

  • Full Digital Discography

    Get all 5 Rhys Gardiner releases available on Bandcamp.

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Children, Verbal Chicanery, Lights Out, Sandpaper, and The Mountain. , and , .

    Purchasable with gift card

      $1 AUD or more

     

about

Calm down, I don't actually hate muscle cars or MX-5s. But there are people out there who do, for quite stupid reasons. They are what this is aimed at.

lyrics

[Muscle Car]

Pulling up to the track in my American muscle
Respect my hustle
Busting speed traps left right and centre
More than you’ll do in the car that you’ve entered

Mazda MX-5? Get Miata here (heh)
I’ll be half way down the straight before you’re out of second gear
Metrosexual with tiny testicles
Torque and power more than you will find digestible

When you’ve finished being in awe of all the shit I’ve won
Can you tell my bitches where you get your hair done?
I’m still tired from when me and your lady banged
On the hood of my Shelby Mustang

And when the girls see me in my vette, sploosh
Now the floor’s all wet
So I need a mop, and when the flag’s dropped
You’ll do, fuckin’ rag top

[MX-5]

Yeah, wanna go, cunt?

We’ll see what happens when you get to a turn
Tight line to the apex, I’m gonna learn ya
While you corner like a cruise ship
Cause all that power ain’t no compensation for some basic driving tips

I got that mid corner rotation
And I get more out of that than any aural masturbation
And what’s the mileage like on that thing?
Bet the place you get your fuel from is all like “cha-ching”

Hey, I got abilities
Meanwhile you’re covering for phallic insecurities
Multiple partners, I don’t really need them
But when I drive on the street, at least people can see them

Yeah your engine ain’t stock, mine neither
I got your draft if I wanna take a breather
But when we hit the brakes, inside I’ll snap
And you’ll understeer off into the gravel trap

[Muscle Car and MX-5]

It’s a race, we’re running out of grace in our headspace
Got a little bit of egg on our faces
When things get a bit risky in the twisties
Side by side getting a tiny bit dizzy

My piece of road, my apex
Turn in and see what happens next
Ow, That was your fault, no it was yours
I CAN’T COMPREHEND MY OWN INHERENT FLAWS

[Commentators]

Hmmm, meanwhile, back at the front
Crossing the line: people who don’t feel the need to shunt
Race over, time to go home
But for grandstand 2A, you still got a hell of a show

Those two fuckwits in a fistfight
Neither of them are really in the right
It’s dumb how they think putting each other’s cars down
Makes them look like anything other than clowns

Ooh, look at that uppercut
Well, I gotta say Tom, fuck those pricks

"Yeah I agree Daryl, ya know, it’s really stupid
They’ve been hanging shit on each other all weekend, and we’re all pretty sick of it
I hope they put each other in the fuckin’ hospital"

credits

from Verbal Chicanery, released March 2, 2017

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Rhys Gardiner Perth, Australia

contact / help

Contact Rhys Gardiner

Streaming and
Download help

Report this track or account

If you like Rhys Gardiner, you may also like: